Calm Down, Stalin
Fair · Short indie · 2016
Steam Deck PlayableThe verdict
NO RUSH.
Fair at $3.99. Buy it if you want it.
- Length
- 0.8h
- Value
- $4.99/hr
- Reviews
- 90% positive
Watch this gameOne alert when it is worth buying.
Minimum on the Steam store: 2 GB of memory, 1GB dedicated, 502 MB of storage. Windows only.
Calm Down, Stalin is a game where you directly control your hands to threaten your enemies with nuclear weapons by moving your finger closer to The Button while signing important state papers, answering phone, dealing with your subordinates and fighting the stress of your job by smoking your pipe!
What drives the score
How to read this
Grades run S to D, read from the buyer's side. ▲ marks a lift, ▼ a drag or a dock, ? an input we do not have, • a fact this genre's score does not use. How the grades work
The value story
The lowest price on record is $1.59, set in November 2018. 39 discounts in the 10 years on record. They run about 50 percent off, roughly 13 weeks apart.
On value it sits in the top 5 percent of its genre. It is better reviewed than 95 percent of its genre. Among the games that feel like it, The Cat Games ($1.99, scores 66) beats it on value, while it beats Mister Furry: Hot Muscles ($0.99, scores 58).
Steam's global achievement data puts about 3 percent of players at this game's ending achievement. On a 0.8-hour game, the hours short of it still count in its price per hour. 2 of the 329 Steam-purchase reviews sampled here come from buyers who refunded the game, sampled from reviews written July 2020 to August 2026. Inside the two-hour refund window, 88 percent of the 663 reviews written there were positive, against 90 percent overall, and those are 63 percent of everything written about it.
The drop-off
91% start to 3% finishSteam counts fewer than one in ten of its players at the ending achievement. On a 0.8-hour game, that's a lot you pay for and may never use. Steam global achievements
What players say
This game is very fun and it's kinda unique, the later levels became hard cause the phone kept landing on the button, this game deserved a positive review from me!
═══ CALM DOWN, STALIN ═══ The objective is simple. Calm down Stalin. Nothing prepares you for how hard that is. You follow instructions. You press buttons. You desperately try not to escalate anything. Every task feels reasonable. Every outcome feels suspicious. Someone is always disappointed. The tension is constant, even when nothing is happening. Especially when nothing is happening. This game taught me one...
Steam reviews, mixed to match its Steam ratio and rotated daily. Opinions are theirs.
No data upstream: critic score (Metacritic).
Cite this score
Calm Down, Stalin scores 64/100 on the BANG Score (fair value) as of Oct 2, 2026. The BANG Score rates what a game is worth for the money. Via Steam BANGERS. https://steambangers.com/game/502940/calm-down-stalinReviews set the ceiling, and price against real length moves the BANG Score inside it. How it works, and where it is weak → Steam reviews as of Sep 27, price as of Oct 1.
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