Behold the Kickmen
Skip · Action · 2017
Steam Deck PlayableThe verdict
SKIP IT.
It scores 49, under the fair line, at $3.99.
- Length
- 2.8h 6.8h to 100%
- Value
- $1.43/hr
- Reviews
- 78% of 526 positive
Watch this gameOne alert at a price you pick.
Buy now or wait
Next discount: likely in the Winter Sale, Dec 17 to Jan 4, at about $0.99 (75% off). Calls like this were right 89% of the time in a backtest over 70 weeks.
Discounted in each of its last 8 seasonal sales. Last cut ended 11 days ago.
- Next sale
- Winter Sale, Dec 17 to Jan 4
Sources: IsThereAnyDeal, Valve.
What drives the score
How to read this
Grades run S to D, read from the buyer's side. ▲ marks a lift, ▼ a drag or a dock, ? an input we do not have, • a fact this genre's score does not use. How the grades work
About the game
BEHOLD THE KICKMEN is a football game made by someone who has no understanding of, or interest in, what is affectionately known as "The Wonderful Game". Start at the bottom of the Big Boring Football Spreadsheet and grind your way up to become the best at the football anyone's ever seen.
Minimum specs
Minimum on the Steam store: 4 GB of memory, GeForce 8800 equivalent or higher, 1 GB of storage. Runs on Windows, macOS.
The value story
It has been discounted 42 times in the 9 years tracked here. The median cut across all of them is 75 percent, about 12 weeks apart. Today it is at full price, and its last discount ended 11 days ago.
On value it sits in the top 14 percent of its genre. It is cheaper than 69 percent of its genre, and better reviewed than 70 percent. Among the games that feel like it, Achievements printer ($0.99, scores 52) beats it on value, while it beats Supraball (free, scores 42).
More about Behold the Kickmen
Critics scored it 58. Players sit 20 points higher at 78 percent, which usually means a game that plays better than it reviews.
Inside the two-hour refund window, 81 percent of the 211 reviews written there were positive, against 78 percent overall, and those are 56 percent of everything written about it.
2.8 hours to finish it, 7 to exhaust it. The completionist tail is 2.4 times the campaign.
The drop-off
72% start to 11% rarestNo achievement in this game marks the ending, so there is no finish rate. The curve runs from the most-unlocked achievement to the rarest, and its shape is where players stop. Steam global achievements
What players say
Some people would say it's the dumbest football game ever made. But I say Behold the Kickmen is the best football game ever made, thanks to it being a parody rather than a simulation, which creates its own identity. Love it!
Steam reviews, mixed to its ratio and rotated daily. Opinions are theirs.
Cite this score
Behold the Kickmen scores 49/100 on the BANG Score (a skip) as of Oct 19, 2026. The BANG Score rates what a game is worth for the money. Via Steam BANGERS. https://steambangers.com/game/529440/behold-the-kickmenReviews set the ceiling, and price against real length moves the BANG Score inside it. How it works, and where it is weak → Steam reviews as of Sep 28, price as of Oct 18. A number here look wrong? Tell me and I will check the inputs.