Please, Don’t Touch Anything
Fair · Short indie · 2015
The verdict
NO RUSH.
Fair at $4.99. Buy it if you want it.
- Reviews
- 89% positive
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Minimum on the Steam store: 512 MB of memory, Any card with at least 128MB, 51 MB of storage. Runs on Windows, macOS, Linux.
A brain-racking game about bathroom breaks, screwdrivers and nuclear explosions.
What drives the score
How to read this
Every input gets a grade, S to D, read from the buyer's side. The score is multiplicative, so an input only counts as raising when it sits near the top of its own scale. Anything with real room left is holding the score back, because that room is the gap to 100. ▲ marks a lift, ▼ a drag or a dock, ? an input we do not have, • a fact this genre's score does not use. The exact weights stay secret.
- How long it takes to beat isn't in our data. We scored it as a typical Short indie game (about 4 hours) and docked the score for the missing length.
The value story
June 2016 is where it bottomed out, at $0.99. 68 discounts in the 12 years on record. They run about 50 percent off, roughly 6 weeks apart. Today it is at full price. The last sale was about 13 weeks ago, and on this game's rhythm the next one tends to arrive within 6 weeks.
On value it sits in the top 6 percent of its genre. It is pricier than 67 percent of its genre, and better reviewed than 94 percent. Papers, Please ($9.99, scores 79) outscores it, and so does A Little to the Left ($5.99, scores 73). Both sit among its closest neighbours.
Steam's global achievement data puts about 6 percent of players at this game's ending achievement. This site sampled 506 of its Steam-purchase reviews; 9 were written by buyers who refunded it, sampled from reviews written April 2020 to August 2026. That is more refunded reviewers than 8 in 10 paid games this site has sampled to the same depth, and among the 748 games in its genre sampled this deeply, 92 have a larger share. Inside the two-hour refund window, 81 percent of the 2,058 reviews written there were positive, against 89 percent overall, and those are 41 percent of everything written about it.
The drop-off
97% start to 6% finishMost players never reach the end. Steam global achievements
Players
7 players at peak in the last day.
The chart appears once this game has been counted more than once.Player counts via SteamSpy.
No data upstream: critic score (Metacritic).
Cite this score
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Please, Don’t Touch Anything scores 61/100 on the BANG Score (fair value). Length is estimated at 4 hours, not measured, so the score is docked. The BANG Score rates what a game is worth for the money. Via Steam BANGERS. https://steambangers.com/game/354240/please-don-t-touch-anythingThe BANG Score is one number for value, 0 to 100: price against how it reviews and how long it was built to be. It answers the money question and stops there; whether the game is for you is still your call.
Reviews set the ceiling and price moves you inside it, so a cheap game that reviews badly cannot climb. Ratings from few reviewers are shrunk toward the middle, so 100 percent from nine people does not outrank 96 percent from ninety thousand. Length comes from HowLongToBeat where it can be matched, measured against a per-genre floor so a five-hour narrative game is judged against other narrative games rather than against a sixty-hour RPG. Where no verified length exists the score says so and carries a dock, because the biggest input is then a guess. The full method, including where it is weak → Steam reviews as of Aug 1, price as of Sep 24.
A number here look wrong? Tell me what it got wrong and I will look at the inputs behind it.