Thirsty Suitors is a surreal story-driven game which throws turn-based RPG battles, skating and over-the-top cooking mechanics together in a spicy fusion! This isn't a dating sim - it's a breakup simulator. Battle your exes. Disappoint your parents. Find yourself.
Each input wears a grade, S to D, read from the buyer's side. The color is the direction: green raises the score, red lowers it, grey sits neutral. ▼ marks a dock, ? a missing input, • a fact this genre's score does not use. The exact weights stay secret. These are the inputs and the direction each pushes.
Most players never reach the end. On a 7.7-hour game, that's a lot you pay for and may never use. Steam global achievements
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Fair · RPG · 2023
Steam Deck PlayableWAIT.
Wait for a sale. A BANGER at $6.38, only fair at $29.99.
about 7.7h$29.99 (~)
Better value than 91% of RPG games
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Thirsty Suitors scores 58/100 on the BANG Score (fair value). The BANG Score rates what a game is worth for the money. Via Steam BANGERS. https://steamBANGERS.com/game/1617220/thirsty-suitors<a href="https://steamBANGERS.com/game/1617220/thirsty-suitors"><img src="https://steambangers.com/api/badge/1617220" alt="BANG Score" width="340" height="80"></a>[](https://steamBANGERS.com/game/1617220/thirsty-suitors)The BANG Score is one number for value, 0 to 100: price against how it reviews and how long it was built to be. It rates value, not taste. Whether it is for you is on you. How the score is computed → Data · updated 6h ago.
Low $14.99High $29.99Now $29.99
Price line + bands by tier:Worth itFairPrice history via IsThereAnyDeal.
The lowest price on record is $14.99, set in November 2025. It has been discounted 25 times in the 3 years tracked here, typically at 34 percent off, with about 5 weeks between sales. The math puts its BANGER price at $6.38. No recorded sale has reached it yet.
Steam's global achievement data says about 5 percent of players ever finish it. On a 7.7-hour game, that is a lot of paid-for hours most people never see.
Peak 0Low 0Latest 0
Daily peak concurrent players.Player counts via SteamSpy.